EP137 – Finding a True Friend – Part 1

Finding a true friend isn’t just about just connection; it’s about finding someone who embodies what we truly need, especially during challenging times. #AdvancedQualityPrograms #TheQualityGuy #Friendship

Finding a true friend isn’t just about intellectual connection  as Friedrich Nietzsche  said It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”

First things first: Sympathy and pity aren’t what you need. While friendships can sometimes involve feeling sorry for others, what truly matters is empathy – the ability to truly understand each other’s feelings. Your partner or closest confidant should ideally be empathetic, with the ability to understand and support you exactly when you need it most.

Let me share a story. There was a time when I was emotionally challenged, on the verge of crisis after quitting my job and ending a long relationship. You know who was there for me? My parents, of course. But here’s the key: they didn’t wallow in my misery. Instead, they did something remarkable. They offered a helping hand, pulled me back up, and reminded me of what the success path is for me. That’s the kind of friends we all need.

When we’re down, we don’t want someone to join us in despair. We need someone who will stand tall, offer support, and guide us towards overcoming challenges. We need someone who believes in us, who sees the person we’re striving to become, and helps us rebuild our confidence.

Sure, being that kind of friend is difficult. It’s natural to want to commiserate with someone who’s hurting. But true friendship means being strong when the other person is weak. It means being there to lift them up, even in their lowest moments.

Now, let’s move on to business. Running a business teaches you a lot about people – more than any classroom ever could. School has its place, but it doesn’t always prepare you for the real world. Here’s the core truth: we’re all human.

We all have flaws, hopes, and dreams. We’re not perfect, and that’s okay. In fact, it’s what makes us human. Take Steve Jobs, for example, a brilliant mind who knew a lot about selling but less about human behavior. He had to learn the hard way, being kicked out of his own company and learning from the people at Pixar what it means to work with people. People aren’t always rational; sometimes, we do things that don’t make logical sense, simply because they feel right.

That’s where the influence  of friendship comes in. Businesses are built on people, and people are influenced by a variety of factors – emotions, biases, and their desires. By understanding the ‘why’ behind people’s actions, we gain the power to connect with them on a deeper level, influence their decisions, and ultimately, succeed in business.

So, relationships and emotional attachments are important because they’re what make us human. And in the end, isn’t that what it’s all about? Connecting with others, understanding them, and building meaningful relationships. That’s the secret to success, both in business and in life.

Connecting on a Real Level

I wouldn’t do something if it didn’t help me reach my goals. Even showing vulnerability is strategic for me. Here’s why it works: When I open up, I’m showing my human side. People want to connect with the person they’re talking to. The ones we trust the least are those whose intentions we can’t understand.

When we don’t get someone’s intentions, it freaks us out. We feel like they’re trying to manipulate us, and that makes us uncomfortable. But when we understand why someone is doing something, it’s different. Then, we can decide if we want to go along with it. Not knowing makes me resistant to being persuaded. Understanding makes you want to cooperate.

Once we accept that we’re dealing with humans, things change. People respond better when you’re open with them. They’ll mirror your openness. That’s how you build teamwork and trust. Hiring people you can relate to then makes perfect sense.

Humans are social creatures – we need to connect with each other. Isolation hurts emotionally because, historically, it meant danger. On the food chain, being isolated meant you were vulnerable to predators. So, as social animals, we’re wired to bond with others for survival. No matter how much we deny it and how businesses try to maintain a formal atmosphere, it all comes down to our human nature.

Don’t play the professional act. In a big business meeting, be as human as possible. Be honest about your story and intentions. Being real will touch your team and your customers. It’s about connecting on a human level, not manipulation.

At first, it can be strange to be open and accept the risk of rejection. But trust me, it pays off. People respond to honesty. Again, it’s all about being human. Don’t get caught up in formalities when dealing with people. It won’t work in the long run.

What Makes a Great Friendship?

Deep down, we often shy away from admitting what we truly seek in friendships. When we first start building strong relationships, we might give generic answers like “I want to be happy.” But being vague doesn’t build strong connections.

Think of it this way: Spending time with family might be important to you, but that might not always align with your goals, especially if you’re starting a business or pursuing a new career. A good friend, however, can help you find that balance. They might push you to achieve your goals while understanding the importance of family and reminding you why it matters.

Ideally, a true friend ignites that motivation in you. They challenge and inspire you, and you return to your loved ones with a renewed sense of accomplishment and vitality. Your family sees your excitement and supports you in your endeavors, perhaps because you even share some common goals.

But a good friend doesn’t just tell you what you want to hear. They challenge you to grow and be the best version of yourself. For example, you might realize you don’t have to wait for a perfect moment to make healthy choices. A good friend can help you find ways to influence your family in a positive way, setting you both on the right direction.

Finding Your Core

But friendship stats with you Once you discover what truly matters to you, your core passion, the thing you are obsessed with. True friends not only accept your goals even if they’re different from theirs. But complement each other’s and support it.

Helen Keller said… “Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.”