EP122 – The Gap and the Gain.

Every time you committedly embrace a goal and undergo transformative growth through that dedication, you attain a fundamental and qualitative enhancement, permanently expanding your capabilities and standing. #advancedQualityPrograms #TheQualityGuy #GapAndGain

…”Gain and loss are the two wheels of the wheel of fortune.”

Baltasar Gracián  

Many individuals refrain from crafting a vision or mission statement due to a sense of demotivation. This stems from the fact that when they envision their future, rather than feeling inspired, they experience dissatisfaction and even emotional negativity toward their current achievements. Often, they focus on missed opportunities rather than acknowledging their progress. In colloquial terms, they view the glass as half empty.

Many industries, leaders, and standards commonly implement key performance indicators (KPIs) immediately after establishing their cultural values, aiming to assess organizational progress towards achieving its objectives. While this approach appears logical, it presents a subtle issue. By establishing KPIs, organizations are essentially measuring themselves against a hypothetical ideal, creating a gap between their current state and the “should-be” scenario. This gap, in turn, can lead to discouragement and a sense of inadequacy. This method of evaluation encourages individuals and organizations to compare themselves to a single, unattainable ideal.

The worst scenario arises when we start evaluating people based on our preconceived notions of perfection. Imagine planning a romantic dinner out with your partner, only to be thwarted by rain. As a result, you’re forced to host a lovely home-cooked dinner with additional guests. In your mind, you had an idealized scenario of being served and enjoying a private evening with your partner. Now that you’re doing the cooking and setting up, the experience feels less than ideal. You’re comparing the actual event to your preconceived ideal, rather than appreciating the time spent with your partner and sharing the experience with others. Moreover, you’re adding unnecessary work to your plate.

If you had not set expectations beforehand, you would have enjoyed the experience better and been more grateful for what you had. In the case that you had no preconceived ideal in mind, you would have benefited from the dinner, as you were surrounded by loved ones and had a wonderful evening.

The distinction between being in the “gap” or the “gain” lies in how you evaluate your experiences and, at times, yourself. When you live in the “gap,” your past becomes a source of dissatisfaction, as it doesn’t align with your perceived ideal. You become someone fixated on “shoulds” and “could-haves.” In contrast, when you embrace the “gain,” you focus on the positive aspects of your experiences and appreciate what you have accomplished.

Comparing yourself, your teams, or your organization to idealized standards is a recipe for disappointment, even for the most optimistic and idealistic individuals. This is because our ideals are inherently fluid and ever-evolving, constantly shifting based on our current circumstances and perspectives. It’s akin to the horizon in a desert: no matter how far you travel, it perpetually recedes into the distance, forever out of reach.

If you have recently watched the documentaries on Arnold Schwarzenegger or Sylvester Stallone, you will notice that they both openly admit to experiencing a persistent gap between their actual achievements and their perceived ideal selves. This gap created a void within them that they felt compelled to fill, even after achieving their long-held dreams. Both Arnold and Sylvester once believed that fame and fortune would bring them lasting peace and happiness, but they discovered that after reaching the pinnacle of their respective fields, another summit always seemed to appear before them. Ultimately, this pattern reflects an unhealthy reliance on external factors to fulfill our deepest desires, diverting our attention away from the profound truths within ourselves.

The antidote to this perpetual dissatisfaction lies in shifting our focus from the gap to the gain. Instead of measuring our progress against an unattainable ideal, we should celebrate the distance we’ve already traveled by acknowledging the progress we’ve made from where we began. Instead of fixating on the vast expanse of the horizon, we should appreciate the ground we’ve covered.

When you focus on the gap, your experiences become the driving force behind your actions. However, if events don’t align with your idealized expectations, you may feel like a victim of circumstance. On the other hand, when you embrace the gain, you cultivate an antifragile mindset, where every experience, regardless of its nature, becomes an opportunity for growth. You recognize that every moment holds the potential to teach you something valuable, leading to continuous improvement over time. This aligns with the saying “everything happens for you, not to you,” suggesting that even challenging experiences offer valuable lessons that contribute to our personal growth.

By shifting your focus to the gains, you cultivate a mindset of perpetual progress, enabling you to identify and capitalize on opportunities for growth in everyday experiences. This approach fosters a sense of accomplishment and self-belief, motivating you to pursue further advancements. Consequently, you’re more likely to generate even greater gains by actively cultivating progress in your daily life.

Revisiting the core concept of our discussion today, converting perceived losses into gains is the essence of personal, team, and organizational growth. While your aspirations remain the same – to be the season’s champion, the pinnacle of excellence, and the embodiment of your vision – the focus shifts from measuring the gap between your current state and the ideal to celebrating the strides you’ve made. Every time you wholeheartedly embrace a goal and undergo transformative growth through that dedication, you achieve a fundamental and qualitative enhancement, permanently expanding your capabilities and positioning.

 “Growth is a process, not an event.” –

Henry Ford :